Hello again all,
There is typically just a small group of people who receive my blogs, and even a smaller group who actually read them. So if you are reading this, bravo for you. :D
There is a long standing joke, or joking around, that I will pick up any change off the ground. pennies, nickles, dimes, anything. A few of my friends have cashed in on the joke as all good friends do. I have one friend who actually bought a roll or two of pennies and would randomly throw them on the ground just to see me pick them up. My friends would laugh and get a good chuckle. It got a bit tiring and they thought it was a good chain yanker, but it doesn't much bother me what they think or why they do it. I know that they are my friends and they are having a good time at my expense, but I am still going to pick up pennies.
I wish I could say I have some super spiritual reason for picking up pennies. There is a story about a man who picks up pennies because of the phase "In God We Trust". While that is in itself a worthy and noble enough reason to pick up a penny, it isn't my reason.
I wish I could say that I am picking them up to save for a cause, for a cure, for something noble, but I am not. Each time I pick up a penny I say, "Blessed by the Lord."
I wish I could say that I am picking them up to use for some other purpose like making a table of pennies, or using them to decorate, plant in a garden to keep away slugs, line up 16 pennies to measure an exact foot, or just drilling holes in them to make washers (which is cheaper than buying a washer in the store). But no none of these are the reason I pick up pennies.
The real reason that I pick up pennies goes back many years ago. You see, before certain times in my life, I too would not go terribly out of my way to pick up change. There is an OCD side of me that says that having money on the ground is not right and needs to be fixed, but I could forgo some of that urge.
I could point to many times, even going back to my childhood where money was tight. My brother and I would use straws and wadded up napkins to reach for and pull money from under vending machines that other people couldn't or didn't want to reach. I also remember racing through the O'Hare airport back in the day when there were lines and lines of pay telephones. We would go to the airport on 'vacation' to watch the airplanes take off and land from the observation deck. We never got to ride in one, so the next best thing was to watch them take off an land. But I digress, we would frantically run from pay phone to pay phone looking for any change that anyone might have left in the phone. We realized that sometimes coins just got stuck and all you had to do was either press the coin return lever, or bang on the phone a bit to get the coins to drop. I remember a time when we walked out of there back in the 70's with over $2 each.
But the one time that was a turning moment in my life was a time when I found myself homeless, living in my car, without any money except for 31 cents that I managed to find under the seat. My car was nearly on empty and it was a cold fall. I needed my car to get around and for shelter. I had to choose between 31 cents in gas or maybe buying something to eat. This was one of the lowest, most humbling times in my life.
I decided that having gas, even 31 cents worth, in my car was more important than eating. After a while I got very hungry, to the point that I had rationalized stealing food from the store to survive. I even amazed myself what I would do when I was that hungry. I am not proud of this and nor do I condone it. In fact, I am embarrassed and ashamed of myself for this. But at the time, I thought I had no other choices. I would steal canned fish, anything that was open in the fruit or vegetable section, and one time even hot dogs. Over time I found other food outlets that didn't involve stealing.
But I vividly remember coasting into the gas station, as I turned off my car and coasted as far as I could and even pushed when I needed to, just to save gas. When I got to the pump I thought how awkward this is going to be to put exactly 31 cents of gas in my car. And if I do go over, Lord I hope that there is a "Need a Penny" inside. As I got out of my car I saw another penny on the ground. I looked around and saw that someone had actually emptied their entire ashtray, full of cigarette butts and change, all over the ground. I sifted through the mess and managed to pick up another 53 cents. This got me thinking....I wonder if there is any money at the other pumps? I walked to every pump in the station and sure enough, I found more money. I moved garbage cans, looked inside of them. I found enough pennies and spare changed to buy over a gallon of gas. I left my car at the gas station and walked a few blocks down to the other gas station. There too I found a few more pennies.
I pumped my gas and went into pay. It was then I realized that I am about to dump a lot of coins that were on the ground, in ash trays, onto the counter. I went into the bathroom and washed the change as best I could and dried it off. I then came to the side of the gas station counter and neatly stacked the change so that it could be counted accurately by the attendant. When it was my turn, the attendant didn't even count the change. He grabbed it all and said, "Looks close enough, I trust you." I don't know if it was that he was lazy and simply didn't want to count the money, or that he was sympathetic and knew it would be close enough. Either way, I had the exact amount, $2.21.
This went on for several weeks until some other things changed in my life. It took over a year and a very good friend, whom I miss dearly, and some of the friends that kid around with me about pennies before I was able to even have my own place.
I really wish I could share some really cool reason that I pick up pennies, but there isn't one. It is all about survival, and remembering a time when each penny was valuable. It was about a time when I said, "Lord, give me today food.", and then returning and truly meaning, "Lord, thank you for this food today." I know some people will pray and out of automatic conditioning, "OH LORD GOD!. Thank you for this food which is before us today....". Not me! Every time I pray, "thank you for this food", I remember that every penny counted, and still counts today.
Friday, September 22, 2017
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Three little deadly words
Hello all,
As I reflect on my career, technology, relationships and life in general, there seems to be a thread of diametrically opposed philosophies that play in my mind. The struggle is real every day and it all starts with those three deadly words, "I Love you"
Life is hard. And things happen in life, just as it has been for generations before us. I do believe in God, the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob, and his son, Jesus Christ. I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, useful in everyday life. And even with this, I still struggle.
With my career position and where i am at in life, it is hard for me to admit this; I struggle with PTSD and OCD, which manifests in anxiety, insecurity and depression. Some days are good and some are bad. Some days no matter what is wrong, it doesn't get me down. Some days no matter what is right, it seems like the end of the world. Some days I need a reminder to just keep breathing.
One part of this that has significantly impacted me is relationships. Throughout my life, relationships were based on what each person could provide to the other. Performance based relationships. If you couldn't provide enough in the relationship, you were not valued and tossed. If you provided too much in the relationship, you were taken advantage up and became the relationship sugardaddy/sugarmommy. It was either suck the life out of the other person or have the life sucked out of you. Achieving balance is like dancing on the head of a needle.
I can not think of a time that I didn't simple assume that everyone I knew was going to betray me or leave me. It is something that I have inside that I cant explain or control. It is difficult to deal with and I know how crazy this is. In the end, I push my friends away before they get a chance to leave. It is hard. I find that I am oversensitive and hyper-vigilant, sometimes making up scenarios in my head or coming to irrational conclusions of what was just said or talked about, just to push them away before I get hurt.
When I hear "I Love you" it simply tears me apart. When my wife says, "I love you", I think "Great! What does she want now? Time to put in another mainline to suck the life out of me to near death again. When I hear my friend say, "I love you man", I hear a request to have some sort of need met in a tit for tat exchange. When I hear "God loves me", I think "SHIT, I am REALLY going to disappoint Him" I can't even sing songs about the Father's love in church. I know in my head that this isn't the love that God has for us, but it is the at odds with the definition love I know and have learned to accept.
In my mind, "I Love you" makes me cringe with despair. It comes with all kinds of strings attached. I did this for you because "I Love you". I am giving you this gift because "I Love you". This is something that we can do together because "I love you" I think of these things as debts that need to be repaid. And the more "I Love you"'s I hear, the more in debt I am.
Tragically, in all of this, I realize that I have sabotaged nearly all my relationships in order to maintain some self preservation.
For those in my past, I am sorry to have put you through this.
For my long time and current friends, I again am sorry. There are no other words I have.
I came to the end of writing this and thought now what? Am I writing this to justify or rationalize my behavior? no. I think I am wondering if anyone else is like this and is struggling too.
If you are, how is that working for you?
For me, I'd like to never ever again hear 'I love you'. And if you need to say something to me that expresses it, how about saying something like "How about dem der Packers, eh?"
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Fathers Day, a day that hurts.
So, I am going to post something that might not be totally correct on this day, but there is another perspective.
When I see all of the pictures and happy fathers day wishes, it is painful for me. Fathers day isn't happy for me.
I am reminded of all the times my father wasn't around and all the things we didn't do, except work. I remember back to September 26, 1995 when I, my then wife, and children were considered no longer a part of the family; and haven't had much contact with any of them since. I wasn't allowed to attend my fathers funeral, but that is for another story. To this day I cannot remember ever having a meaningful conversation with my father. We didn’t fish or hunt together, we didn’t go to baseball games together pretty much nothing but work, and even then I couldn't get it right enough. Heck, my brother has memories of holding the damn flashlight.
As a father myself, happy fathers day is a reminder to me how much I have become like my father, and how many times I have failed my children; and continue to do so.
Happy fathers day means remembering all the times I was presented with a no win decisions between work, school, home, friends, family and God. And it mattered very little what decision I would make, it was the wrong one with devastating consequences.
Happy fathers day means having regrets of doing something or not doing something, saying the right thing at the wrong time or the wrong thing at the right time. It is all those things I wish I would have done and all those things I wish I wouldn't have done.
Happy fathers day means seeing traits in my adult children I wish they never learned from me. Seeing them make the same decisions and mistakes that I made. Sure, I thought they were right at the time and I did my best. But now I have the benefit of having 20/20 hind site.
Happy fathers day means thinking and remembering the past and being paralyzed to move forward to make any decisions. And while some of you may be saying....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, believe me I wish I could. But you might as well tell the lame to walk, the dead to rise, the mute to speak, and the sick to heal themselves.
Happy fathers day means going to church and hearing about God our Father. For many years I cringed when people referred to God as “Father.” Inside I was thinking, “Not interested!” I still can't sing those songs. I remember my father and me as a father and can not and do not want that kind of relationship ever again. "Heavenly Father" might as well be "Forever Tyrant", or "Eternal Dictator"
Maybe it’s not so “happy” for you. Perhaps you’re one of those people who will play the charade of giving a gift, sending a card or making a phone call out of obligation or guilt. Maybe you carry deep wounds from your relationship (or lack thereof) with your father. Perhaps you’ve suffered from the disapproval, rejection, absence or abandonment of your father. Maybe you will try to drum up some positive demeanor toward your dad on Father’s Day even though you really feel nothing at all.
I get it. I understand! Sometimes I wish they would change this day to "Biological Sperm Donor". I could wrap my hands around and celebrate and say "Yes, I did that!"
These helps a little:
http://thrivetherapymn.com/blog/2016/06/not-happy-fathers-day/
http://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/when-fathers-day-hurts
So today, I don't celebrate as some do. Some day, I and others might be able to say Happy Fathers Day, but not today.
When I see all of the pictures and happy fathers day wishes, it is painful for me. Fathers day isn't happy for me.
I am reminded of all the times my father wasn't around and all the things we didn't do, except work. I remember back to September 26, 1995 when I, my then wife, and children were considered no longer a part of the family; and haven't had much contact with any of them since. I wasn't allowed to attend my fathers funeral, but that is for another story. To this day I cannot remember ever having a meaningful conversation with my father. We didn’t fish or hunt together, we didn’t go to baseball games together pretty much nothing but work, and even then I couldn't get it right enough. Heck, my brother has memories of holding the damn flashlight.
As a father myself, happy fathers day is a reminder to me how much I have become like my father, and how many times I have failed my children; and continue to do so.
Happy fathers day means remembering all the times I was presented with a no win decisions between work, school, home, friends, family and God. And it mattered very little what decision I would make, it was the wrong one with devastating consequences.
Happy fathers day means having regrets of doing something or not doing something, saying the right thing at the wrong time or the wrong thing at the right time. It is all those things I wish I would have done and all those things I wish I wouldn't have done.
Happy fathers day means seeing traits in my adult children I wish they never learned from me. Seeing them make the same decisions and mistakes that I made. Sure, I thought they were right at the time and I did my best. But now I have the benefit of having 20/20 hind site.
Happy fathers day means thinking and remembering the past and being paralyzed to move forward to make any decisions. And while some of you may be saying....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, believe me I wish I could. But you might as well tell the lame to walk, the dead to rise, the mute to speak, and the sick to heal themselves.
Happy fathers day means going to church and hearing about God our Father. For many years I cringed when people referred to God as “Father.” Inside I was thinking, “Not interested!” I still can't sing those songs. I remember my father and me as a father and can not and do not want that kind of relationship ever again. "Heavenly Father" might as well be "Forever Tyrant", or "Eternal Dictator"
Maybe it’s not so “happy” for you. Perhaps you’re one of those people who will play the charade of giving a gift, sending a card or making a phone call out of obligation or guilt. Maybe you carry deep wounds from your relationship (or lack thereof) with your father. Perhaps you’ve suffered from the disapproval, rejection, absence or abandonment of your father. Maybe you will try to drum up some positive demeanor toward your dad on Father’s Day even though you really feel nothing at all.
I get it. I understand! Sometimes I wish they would change this day to "Biological Sperm Donor". I could wrap my hands around and celebrate and say "Yes, I did that!"
These helps a little:
http://thrivetherapymn.com/blog/2016/06/not-happy-fathers-day/
http://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/when-fathers-day-hurts
So today, I don't celebrate as some do. Some day, I and others might be able to say Happy Fathers Day, but not today.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Novell is DEAD!.....Part 2
Hello all,
Several years ago I posted my first article, Novell is Dead. It was never my intention to have a continuing discussion of the matter. However, times have changed. I have gone back to read what I said and continue the discussion.
Novell has continued its tradition of Brainshare and they continue to do a good job. Back when Attachmate announced that it was going to purchase Novell, many of us long time IT customers were a little more than just concerned. What is this all going to mean? What is going to happen to the products? Will Novell finally get the marketing piece that was so tragically missing? Is Novell dead?
The answers to these and many more questions came as time passed. Since 2011, Attachmate sliced and diced Novell into 3 or 4 business units; Novell, NetIQ, Suse, and Attachmate proper. The very first messages were that it was business as usual, and the products were going to continue to be improved and built. Many of the IT veterans quietly said, "We've heard that before!" as the leaders of Novell for the past decade said one thing, but clearly were operating in the best interest of immediate gratification of stock holders and their own pockets. Could we trust Bob Flynn, Jay Gardner, Nils Brachmann, and Jeff Hahn at their word, or are these business men, much like politicians, who will say one thing and do another?
My answer is "Yes.....and no"
Attachmate has added to, not taken away from, the core products. They have invested in doing the right things the right way in technology. Features, functionality, product development, and even Q/A has improved over the past few years. They are reconnecting to some of their core values of delivering products that address their customers wants and needs; and getting it done. If something is the right thing to do, then they do the right thing the right way; even when it costs more than not doing it at all or doing it poorly.
On the other hand, It is curious that a company which at its very core is tied to Identity Management seemingly has the difficult and daunting task of establishing its own identity. What is Novell? What is Suse? What is NetIQ? What is OES? I remember sitting in meeting after meeting, desperately trying to make sense of and catch the vision of one company with 4 business units. I would listen to them repeat the same things over and over in hopes that the 150th time they said the same thing it would finally click with a EUREKA realization moment. So far, it hasn't. How can one take a single company, chop it up into 4 nearly separate stand alone business units, and still be functional?
So, my bottom line is that we can and did trust the leadership of Attachmate at their word. They have done exactly what they said they would do, but some of us haven't caught or understood some of the vision. Overall, the past three years, the situation has stabilized and gotten a little better.
Enter Micro Focus.....
OH NO! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER!
Unlike the Attachmate purchase, we heard none of that! The message pretty much was, "Oh...and by the way, we are now owned by Micro Focus.....carry on....that is all." And everyone continued about their business as usual. Unusual? Probably. Maybe those customers, partners and employees are accustomed to the new normal being acquisitions? Or maybe.....it just doesn't matter anymore....Novell is dead anyway.
There are no simple solutions to complex opportunities. Anyone suggesting a "all you have to do is...." is like suggesting the solution to every problem is a hammer. If the problem is a nail, it works just fine. If the problem is a screw or bold, not so much.
Once the problems are openly and honestly shared there are strategies that can and should be put into action. So what are those problems?
Stay tuned for Part 3. Feel free to comment and join the conversation. I already have my answers, but would like to hear others.
Tom
Several years ago I posted my first article, Novell is Dead. It was never my intention to have a continuing discussion of the matter. However, times have changed. I have gone back to read what I said and continue the discussion.
Novell has continued its tradition of Brainshare and they continue to do a good job. Back when Attachmate announced that it was going to purchase Novell, many of us long time IT customers were a little more than just concerned. What is this all going to mean? What is going to happen to the products? Will Novell finally get the marketing piece that was so tragically missing? Is Novell dead?
The answers to these and many more questions came as time passed. Since 2011, Attachmate sliced and diced Novell into 3 or 4 business units; Novell, NetIQ, Suse, and Attachmate proper. The very first messages were that it was business as usual, and the products were going to continue to be improved and built. Many of the IT veterans quietly said, "We've heard that before!" as the leaders of Novell for the past decade said one thing, but clearly were operating in the best interest of immediate gratification of stock holders and their own pockets. Could we trust Bob Flynn, Jay Gardner, Nils Brachmann, and Jeff Hahn at their word, or are these business men, much like politicians, who will say one thing and do another?
My answer is "Yes.....and no"
Attachmate has added to, not taken away from, the core products. They have invested in doing the right things the right way in technology. Features, functionality, product development, and even Q/A has improved over the past few years. They are reconnecting to some of their core values of delivering products that address their customers wants and needs; and getting it done. If something is the right thing to do, then they do the right thing the right way; even when it costs more than not doing it at all or doing it poorly.
On the other hand, It is curious that a company which at its very core is tied to Identity Management seemingly has the difficult and daunting task of establishing its own identity. What is Novell? What is Suse? What is NetIQ? What is OES? I remember sitting in meeting after meeting, desperately trying to make sense of and catch the vision of one company with 4 business units. I would listen to them repeat the same things over and over in hopes that the 150th time they said the same thing it would finally click with a EUREKA realization moment. So far, it hasn't. How can one take a single company, chop it up into 4 nearly separate stand alone business units, and still be functional?
So, my bottom line is that we can and did trust the leadership of Attachmate at their word. They have done exactly what they said they would do, but some of us haven't caught or understood some of the vision. Overall, the past three years, the situation has stabilized and gotten a little better.
Enter Micro Focus.....
OH NO! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER!
Unlike the Attachmate purchase, we heard none of that! The message pretty much was, "Oh...and by the way, we are now owned by Micro Focus.....carry on....that is all." And everyone continued about their business as usual. Unusual? Probably. Maybe those customers, partners and employees are accustomed to the new normal being acquisitions? Or maybe.....it just doesn't matter anymore....Novell is dead anyway.
There are no simple solutions to complex opportunities. Anyone suggesting a "all you have to do is...." is like suggesting the solution to every problem is a hammer. If the problem is a nail, it works just fine. If the problem is a screw or bold, not so much.
Once the problems are openly and honestly shared there are strategies that can and should be put into action. So what are those problems?
Stay tuned for Part 3. Feel free to comment and join the conversation. I already have my answers, but would like to hear others.
Tom
Sunday, July 27, 2014
50 Shades of Grey - a man's perspective
In a store the other day I overheard one lady talking to another, "Have you read 50 Shades of Grey? OMG I did and it was... (with hands fluttering in front of her face)... was...OMG, WONDERFUL! It is such a great book, you have to read it. It is now my favorite book of all time. I wish I had a guy like that!" And the conversation continued in more detail. So what is the big deal? It is just a book that is going to be a movie, right?
Speaking for many of the men that I know, we are visual in nature. Men are aroused by the visual, and even the imagination is visual to us. Aural and written words typically have little effect to us without the visual or imagination of the visual. Having talked with a few women, they shared with me it works differently for them.
(Explanation forward is my best attempt at understanding women....a task as monumental as herding cats)
For women, it is all about the feeling and the aura and the mystery and the passion and the imagination. It is not about the visual. Although a good visual doesn't hurt the moment, the true passion for women is in what is going on in their minds, and then the body follows.
Speaking as a guy, it is completely opposite. Let me explain this a bit more to see if anyone gets it.
A man is just sitting there minding his own business; thinking absolutely nothing. A woman walks by him. She is wearing a mini skirt and a blouse that is a bit too small for her figure. She is well made up and she walks with a strut in her high heals. The man looks up and his eyes are drawn to her like a tiger to prey. He his mesmerized by her and may have a difficult time turning away. There is only one thing he is thinking if he is thinking at all....WOW. (queue the scene from Bambi where all of the animals became "twitterpated")
At no time does he go off into an internal soliloquy, "I wonder if she is smart? I wonder what she does for a living? I wonder if she can cook? I wonder what she does for fun? I wonder what makes her laugh? What is her favorite movie? I wonder what she was like as a kid? I wonder what her favorite place is in the entire world? I wonder if she is a cat or dog person?" You get the drift.
And here is what doesn't make sense, ladies. Even if a man is older and wiser and understands this, he may ask these questions, and then answer them for her in his own mind with answers that suit him.
"Is she smart?" Of course she is! A woman like that can't be dumb.
"What does she do for a living?" She must be a Doctor, or Lawyer, or some sort of executive because a person that beautiful must have one of those positions.
"Can she cook?" Of course she can! She is a master chef in 3 different genres of food.
"What is her favorite place?" With ME of course!
"I she a cat or dog person?" She loves ALL animals, especially the ones I love!
After the woman passes along, and the emergency alert system sound that just played in his mind which cause the man to pause all brain function and garnished his complete attention, stops alarming, then the man can reflect and begin to think rationally again. Blood begins flowing again to his brain and his thinking senses return. His mind takes control again with "I now return you to your originally scheduled programming."
If any of you are having a difficult time with this, let me point you to the 1979 film "10". There is a specific scene where Bo Derek is running down the beach in her one piece bathing suite, her beaded hair flopping up and down. The camera then switches back to Dudley Moore where you can almost see the intelligence leave his body as he stares at her. This, ladies, is the power you hold over men. Use it wisely.
By this time reading through this blog, if not sooner, I can hear the collective moan of "Men are pigs!" Right? Let me redirect you to the reason for this post. I postulate that the book/movie 50 Shades of Grey does something very similar to women as my story does to men. After reading this book or watching the movie, you should not have the expectation or deserve the right to tell your husband or boyfriend to not watch porn. It does exactly the same thing to woman as traditional porn does for me. In essence, 50 Shades Of Grey is porn for women. And because it doesn't fit the visual definition of porn, it can fall under the categories of "Art", "Entertainment", "Fantasy", which makes it completely acceptable in our culture.
Take that same conversation that I heard, change it up a bit from a woman's perspective hearing two guys talk to one another. "Hey John, have you read that new book "New Porn Book"? There aren't many words but lots of pictures. Nothing left to the imagination! It is OUTSTANDING, probably my favorite book of all time. I can't wait until they make it a movie! I wish I had a woman like that!"
And all/many of the women collective say, "What a pig!" Know that some guys think the same way when we hear you talking with admiration about 50 Shades of Grey.
Let me share another person's blog "To the Women of America: 4 Reasons to hate 50 Shades of Grey" http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/07/25/women-america-4-reasons-hate-50-shades-grey/2/#cgMkbhTpqceK5kPb.01
*I have not read the book but have talked with enough people (men and women) who have read it.
Thoughts
Speaking for many of the men that I know, we are visual in nature. Men are aroused by the visual, and even the imagination is visual to us. Aural and written words typically have little effect to us without the visual or imagination of the visual. Having talked with a few women, they shared with me it works differently for them.
(Explanation forward is my best attempt at understanding women....a task as monumental as herding cats)
For women, it is all about the feeling and the aura and the mystery and the passion and the imagination. It is not about the visual. Although a good visual doesn't hurt the moment, the true passion for women is in what is going on in their minds, and then the body follows.
Speaking as a guy, it is completely opposite. Let me explain this a bit more to see if anyone gets it.
A man is just sitting there minding his own business; thinking absolutely nothing. A woman walks by him. She is wearing a mini skirt and a blouse that is a bit too small for her figure. She is well made up and she walks with a strut in her high heals. The man looks up and his eyes are drawn to her like a tiger to prey. He his mesmerized by her and may have a difficult time turning away. There is only one thing he is thinking if he is thinking at all....WOW. (queue the scene from Bambi where all of the animals became "twitterpated")
At no time does he go off into an internal soliloquy, "I wonder if she is smart? I wonder what she does for a living? I wonder if she can cook? I wonder what she does for fun? I wonder what makes her laugh? What is her favorite movie? I wonder what she was like as a kid? I wonder what her favorite place is in the entire world? I wonder if she is a cat or dog person?" You get the drift.
And here is what doesn't make sense, ladies. Even if a man is older and wiser and understands this, he may ask these questions, and then answer them for her in his own mind with answers that suit him.
"Is she smart?" Of course she is! A woman like that can't be dumb.
"What does she do for a living?" She must be a Doctor, or Lawyer, or some sort of executive because a person that beautiful must have one of those positions.
"Can she cook?" Of course she can! She is a master chef in 3 different genres of food.
"What is her favorite place?" With ME of course!
"I she a cat or dog person?" She loves ALL animals, especially the ones I love!
After the woman passes along, and the emergency alert system sound that just played in his mind which cause the man to pause all brain function and garnished his complete attention, stops alarming, then the man can reflect and begin to think rationally again. Blood begins flowing again to his brain and his thinking senses return. His mind takes control again with "I now return you to your originally scheduled programming."
If any of you are having a difficult time with this, let me point you to the 1979 film "10". There is a specific scene where Bo Derek is running down the beach in her one piece bathing suite, her beaded hair flopping up and down. The camera then switches back to Dudley Moore where you can almost see the intelligence leave his body as he stares at her. This, ladies, is the power you hold over men. Use it wisely.
By this time reading through this blog, if not sooner, I can hear the collective moan of "Men are pigs!" Right? Let me redirect you to the reason for this post. I postulate that the book/movie 50 Shades of Grey does something very similar to women as my story does to men. After reading this book or watching the movie, you should not have the expectation or deserve the right to tell your husband or boyfriend to not watch porn. It does exactly the same thing to woman as traditional porn does for me. In essence, 50 Shades Of Grey is porn for women. And because it doesn't fit the visual definition of porn, it can fall under the categories of "Art", "Entertainment", "Fantasy", which makes it completely acceptable in our culture.
Take that same conversation that I heard, change it up a bit from a woman's perspective hearing two guys talk to one another. "Hey John, have you read that new book "New Porn Book"? There aren't many words but lots of pictures. Nothing left to the imagination! It is OUTSTANDING, probably my favorite book of all time. I can't wait until they make it a movie! I wish I had a woman like that!"
And all/many of the women collective say, "What a pig!" Know that some guys think the same way when we hear you talking with admiration about 50 Shades of Grey.
Let me share another person's blog "To the Women of America: 4 Reasons to hate 50 Shades of Grey" http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/07/25/women-america-4-reasons-hate-50-shades-grey/2/#cgMkbhTpqceK5kPb.01
*I have not read the book but have talked with enough people (men and women) who have read it.
Thoughts
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Importance of DNS in every organization
Hello all,
I have been struggling to find a way to explain the
importance of using DNS in our environment as opposed to direct IP
addresses. While IP addressing is
important in what we do, connecting to other machines or services via DNS is
vital to sustainability and growth.
I found a bit of information and changed the message a bit
to fit our needs. Maybe this will
help. Bottom line….when connecting to
anything, PLEASE use DNS.
DNS is foundational for any business. True, while a company is small, it is easy to
memorize a small portion of static IP addresses. This works fine for home or a small
organization, but does not provide flexibility for growth, nor does it allow for
scalability. Take this example:
In your web browser, type http://74.125.225.115
and press enter (or just press the hyperlink) ….where did it take you? Google?
So, why would anyone want to type in http://www.google.com
when they can easily memorize a number like 74.125.225.115? (sarcasm).
It is much easier to remember www.google.com
than it is to memorize a number like that, yes?
Now…I could stop right here, but I am sure there are some people out
there that are numbers people who will argue that memorizing the number is
easier than remembering www.google.com. Okay…put on your helmets, this is going to
hurt a bit.
In your browser now type (or press the hyperlink) Http://173.194.46.48 where did it take you? Google?
How about http://173.194.46.49 ? Google?
Now try http://173.194.46.50? Google? Now try http://173.194.46.51 ?
Google again? Now…I can keep putting
typing addresses about 400 more times that will bring you to the exact same
spot…..www.google.com. The google web
servers are a part of a cluster. If one
doesn’t work for whatever reason, another one picks up.
So now, numbers person, would you like to memorize about
400, 4 octet string numbers to get to a single server, or would you rather use
DNS and just type http://www.google.com and
let DNS figure it out for you?
Okay, Mr. Smarty pants…you know who you are? They guy who wants to argue everything just
for the sake of arguing. You said you
are going to memorize 400 number strings because you do not like or do not
trust DNS. Fine. Let’s test your mad number skills. IPv6! Full contact sport now! Put on all your armor!
IPv6 is coming. If you
are in other countries, this is all they do now. Since Feb, 2013, the IANA has completely
exhausted the IPv4 range, which means that there is no more address spaces
available in the IPv4 range to be given out publically. So, eventually, everyone will be force to
migrate/move to IPv6 (www.test-ipv6.com )
So, if you are already running IPv6 you are ahead of the
curve! (Clap)
So now……you want to goto google. You can type in www.google.com and let DNS resolve it for you….or,
Mr Numbers Guy…..you can type in Http://2607:f8b0:4009:8010:0000:0000:0000:1012
YUP, that is the www.google.com address in
IPv6 format. Now, again, there are about
400 different combinations of this number for you to memorize. GO!
OR…..you can just type in www.google.com
and let DNS sort it out for you.
Your choice, choose wisely!
Hope you enjoyed this.
J
Friday, October 11, 2013
Government shutdown and unemployment
Hello all,
People in the technology industry are not immune to unemployment. Being unemployed at the moment, I did a little digging into what the "Unemployment Rate" really means and how it is calculated. After several hours of looking through exactly what it means, and going through all the mumbo jumbo, it is surprisingly simple, and horrifically inaccurate.
The unemployment rate is only a percentage of people who receive unemployment. That's it. If there are 100 people, and 10 of them are receiving unemployment, then the unemployment rate is 10%. That does not mean that only 10 people are unemployed. It only means that 10 people are eligible and are receiving unemployment benefits. It could mean, and does mean, that there are more unemployed people who are simply not eligible for unemployment benefits. The actual number is alarming.
In late 2009, the unemployment rate peaked at about 10%. That means about 10% of people "qualified" for unemployment benefits. "Qualified" is the key word.
Since that time, the unemployment rate has been going down. Which, according to the news agencies, should be translated that more people are getting jobs, right? WRONG! What it actually does mean is that fewer and fewer people are able to qualify for unemployment benefits!
There are a number of factors in the mumbo jumbo that figure into all of this, but it seems that there are two criteria that seem to be the biggest.
First, a person's time on unemployment expires. It may mean that a person simply couldn't find a job in the time that they were qualified to receive unemployment, so they simply dropped off the receiving line, and therefore have been removed from the unemployment rate statistic. They are unemployed and are no longer receiving unemployment, therefore, the unemployment rate goes down.
Second, the government sets the unemployment timeline. That's right, if they want the unemployment rate to go down, simply short the amount of time a person can collect unemployment, and suddenly you have fewer people collecting unemployment, therefore the unemployment rate again goes down. In September 2013, the government cut the unemployment timeline from Tier 3 to Tier 3, thus removing 9 weeks of unemployment benefits. This essentially means that a person who was not able to find employment over a 28 week period will no longer be eligible for unemployment, and therefore will not be included in the "unemployment rate"
The third concept that is a bit gray, and most concerning to me is the self employed. If you are self employed or work as a contractor, you may or may not ever be included in the unemployment rate. If your business is down or even collapses, you may not even be eligible for unemployment and therefore not included in the unemployment rate.
A fourth concept is people making $363 a week or more are not considered unemployed. It comes to about $310 per month after paying taxes, or $10 per day. I am not sure what our government is thinking, but who can have a life and a family on $10 per day?
As I look through the numbers, I think our true unemployment, under employment rate is closer to 25%-30% across the nation. This is NOT including people who do not want to work or are 'legitimately' unable to work. I use the word 'legitimately' because I have found there are some ideas of disability and unable to work that are a bit far fetched, and tend to lean toward a sluggard mentality.
So, in a time where our government is shut down, maybe those who are employed to keep the government running should collect nothing but unemployment.
Comments?
Tom
People in the technology industry are not immune to unemployment. Being unemployed at the moment, I did a little digging into what the "Unemployment Rate" really means and how it is calculated. After several hours of looking through exactly what it means, and going through all the mumbo jumbo, it is surprisingly simple, and horrifically inaccurate.
The unemployment rate is only a percentage of people who receive unemployment. That's it. If there are 100 people, and 10 of them are receiving unemployment, then the unemployment rate is 10%. That does not mean that only 10 people are unemployed. It only means that 10 people are eligible and are receiving unemployment benefits. It could mean, and does mean, that there are more unemployed people who are simply not eligible for unemployment benefits. The actual number is alarming.
In late 2009, the unemployment rate peaked at about 10%. That means about 10% of people "qualified" for unemployment benefits. "Qualified" is the key word.
Since that time, the unemployment rate has been going down. Which, according to the news agencies, should be translated that more people are getting jobs, right? WRONG! What it actually does mean is that fewer and fewer people are able to qualify for unemployment benefits!
There are a number of factors in the mumbo jumbo that figure into all of this, but it seems that there are two criteria that seem to be the biggest.
First, a person's time on unemployment expires. It may mean that a person simply couldn't find a job in the time that they were qualified to receive unemployment, so they simply dropped off the receiving line, and therefore have been removed from the unemployment rate statistic. They are unemployed and are no longer receiving unemployment, therefore, the unemployment rate goes down.
Second, the government sets the unemployment timeline. That's right, if they want the unemployment rate to go down, simply short the amount of time a person can collect unemployment, and suddenly you have fewer people collecting unemployment, therefore the unemployment rate again goes down. In September 2013, the government cut the unemployment timeline from Tier 3 to Tier 3, thus removing 9 weeks of unemployment benefits. This essentially means that a person who was not able to find employment over a 28 week period will no longer be eligible for unemployment, and therefore will not be included in the "unemployment rate"
The third concept that is a bit gray, and most concerning to me is the self employed. If you are self employed or work as a contractor, you may or may not ever be included in the unemployment rate. If your business is down or even collapses, you may not even be eligible for unemployment and therefore not included in the unemployment rate.
A fourth concept is people making $363 a week or more are not considered unemployed. It comes to about $310 per month after paying taxes, or $10 per day. I am not sure what our government is thinking, but who can have a life and a family on $10 per day?
As I look through the numbers, I think our true unemployment, under employment rate is closer to 25%-30% across the nation. This is NOT including people who do not want to work or are 'legitimately' unable to work. I use the word 'legitimately' because I have found there are some ideas of disability and unable to work that are a bit far fetched, and tend to lean toward a sluggard mentality.
So, in a time where our government is shut down, maybe those who are employed to keep the government running should collect nothing but unemployment.
Comments?
Tom
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